Sierra Leone: Educating abusive husbands
About 50 men recently signed up to a program teaching them how to stop abusing their wives — a subject that’s taboo in rural parts of Sierra Leone.
Joseph Pidia, who facilitates the voluntary workshop, hopes to change the mindsets of men so they can break the chain of domestic violence and rape that plagues the West African nation.
Pidia has run the workshops for four years. His training on how to become a good husband takes about six months, with three monthly sessions. Wives are not allowed to participate. However, despite the seriousness of the topic, humor is permitted.
Read more: Sierra Leone declares national rape emergency
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In pictures: Demanding an end to violence against women
Human rights violation
“Violence against women and girls is among the most widespread, and devastating human rights violations in the world, but much of it is often unreported due to impunity, shame and gender inequality,” said the UN in a statement marking International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. In Guatemala, 571 women have been killed so far in 2019.
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In pictures: Demanding an end to violence against women
1 in 3 women experience violence
A third of all women and girls experience physical or sexual abuse in their lifetime, according to the UN. Half of the women killed worldwide were killed by their partners or members of the family.
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In pictures: Demanding an end to violence against women
Femicide growing in France
Data collected by women’s advocacy group “Feminicides par compagnons ou ex”(“Femicide by partner or ex”) found that 74 women in France were killed by their husband or partner in 2019 so far. The year’s final toll is expected to surpass last year’s figures.
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In pictures: Demanding an end to violence against women
‘France’s shame’
The rate of women killed at the hands of their partner in France is among the highest in Europe, which French President Emmanuel Macron has called “France’s shame.” On November 25, the government unveiled new measures aimed at reducing the number of victims, including a pledge to seize firearms from abusive spouses, the creation of 1,000 new women’s shelters and better police training.
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In pictures: Demanding an end to violence against women
‘Alarming figures’
In Germany, figures showed that at least one woman is physically injured every hour on average at the hands of their partner. German Family Minister Franziska Giffey announced on November 25 that the government will spend €30 million ($33 million) a year over the next four years toward increasing the capacity of women’s shelters. As of 2019, there were 350 shelters nationwide.
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In pictures: Demanding an end to violence against women
Footballers don red streaks
Italian footballers in the country’s top league, Serie A, took to the pitch with red streaks on their faces as part of a call to end violence against women. UC Sampdoria and Udinese Calcio took part in the campaign in Genoa, which coincided with International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.
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In pictures: Demanding an end to violence against women
‘Our bones are all the same’
In Italy, 142 women were killed through domestic violence, up 0.7% from the previous year, according to figures released Monday. Trauma surgeon Maria Grazia Vantadori in Milan came up with the idea to show the X-rays of domestic violence abuse victims at the hospital. “Our bones are all the same. So any of these could be any woman,” she said
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In pictures: Demanding an end to violence against women
Rape without consent
Only a handful of countries in Europe, including Germany and Belgium, define rape as sex without consent. Other countries often require proof of intimidation or violence. In Brussels, Belgium, red shoes were lined up on the ground to mark International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.
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In pictures: Demanding an end to violence against women
Legal loopholes
Spain, Italy, Greece and France — among many other countries — do not legally define rape as sex without consent. Earlier this month, Spaniards took to the streets to protest a Barcelona court decision that sentenced five of six men accused of gang-raping a 14-year-old girl to 10 to 12 years in prison for sexually abusing the minor — but acquitted them of the more serious charge of rape.
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In pictures: Demanding an end to violence against women
‘Walk of Silence’
In Malaga, Spain, protesters took part in a ‘Caminata del Silencio’ (Walk of silence) on November 25 to denounce femicide and sexual violence against women. Each placard contains the names of all women who were killed by their partners in Spain so far this year.
Husband ‘finishing’ school
If you want to say something, you must raise your hand. That’s rule number one of the husband school. Like in any class, according to Pidia, discipline is vital to achieving the desired goals — and his motivation is very personal.
“In my village, a woman was raped. Instead of people supporting her, they all blamed her that it was her fault,” Pidia told DW. “She had to move to another community, which was bad. I felt bad.”
During the first session, and to approach this somewhat sensitive topic, Joseph Pidia uses role-playing techniques. The idea: Men put themselves in their wives’ shoes for a change of perspective. Some men believe that they don’t need to ask their wives for permission to have sex.
Read more: Domestic violence rises in Turkey during COVID-19 pandemic
A five-year-old Sierra Leonean rape victim has been paralysed from the waist down
Perspective shift
The workshop helps them understand the point at which they cross borders in their relationships.
“It will help stop all the mistakes that used to happen in my house,” village chief Mohamed Lamin, a program participant, told DW, “This workshop will benefit me to stop all past mistakes and bring development in my family.”
Mohamed Josiah, another workshop attendee, said the workshop helps change their perspectives on how to better live with their wives.
All violations towards our wives need to be fewer now, and we need to live in peace with them, he told DW.
Read more: How women are pushing back against rape culture in South Africa
A UNICEF rape-prevention poster in Sierra Leone from 2002, the same year the civil war ended
Dark history
Around 200,000 women were victims of gender-based violence during Sierra Leone’s 1991-2002 civil war. But the problem persists, and many of the assaults are committed by relatives.
In 2019, President Mada Bio declared rape a national emergency, after a young girl was raped and became paralyzed.
Joseph Pidia believes that men’s behavior is a direct consequence of his country’s dark past.
“Most of it [violence against women] started during the civil war. So, the goal is to change their mindset. When the mind is okay, everything will be okay.
Joseph Pidia regularly visits communities where former beneficiaries live to evaluate whether there’s been a significant change.
Karimu Lahai, a graduate of the husband school, said that life has changed and is living happily with his wife.
“I always quarreled with my wife, beat her, and sent her back to her parents. I also deprived my children of food, and it hurt them at the time,” Lahai told DW.
“But ever since I joined the husband school training, we are living peacefully, and there is nothing I will do to make her unhappy again. We are a happy family.”
Read more: Domestic violence rises amid coronavirus lockdowns in Asia
Blissful marriage
Lahai’s wife, Amie Karimu, was full of praise for the husbands school.
“The school has made a lot of changes in our lives. If the husband school hadn’t come here, my husband would have remained violent against our children and me,” Karimu said.
Sallay Kanneh, another wife whose husband attended the school, said he is more cooperative now than ever before.
“When I entered into a relationship with my husband, it was very challenging for me because we fought day and night,” she said.
“He neglected all his responsibilities as a man and, most of the time, failed to provide for us. My husband has been very cooperative since the introduction of the husband school.”
Joseph Pidia especially chooses hard-to-reach locations in Sierra Leone. He says what people living in the rural locations need most is access to information. Unlike cities, there are no radio stations, newspapers, or access to television.
Information finds its way through word of mouth in the community. Pidia hopes that through the workshops, he can get his message gets across:
Currently, there are more than 40 husband schools in Sierra Leone. Pidia’s school survives on donations, but he is convinced that, if one workshop can change the mindset of one single man, it might be able to change the future of an entire generation.
Read more: German foreign minister: ‘We can learn from Sierra Leone’
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